The Top Ten Things My Dad Would Do Before A Date

You know what's scarier than Halloween? Dating. You know what's scarier than dating? Dating when you're older.
     My Dad is 96-years-old, so these would be:

 
The Top Ten Things
My Dad Would Do Before A Date
 
  
10.  Take a nap.
 
9. Wash off the fishy smell of Preparation H.
 
8.  Try to remember who he's taking out.
 
7.  Massage his prostate to ease the swelling.
 
6.  Massage his prostate because it feels good.
 
5.  Shave back, comb eyebrows, trim nostrils, and pluck the hair growing out of his ears.
 
4.  Do stretching exercises so he won't pull a muscle later just in case he... well... you know.
 
3.  Don't forget his Gas-X.
 
2.  Apply acne medication... ON HIS ASS!
  
And the number one thing he'd do before a date is:
  
1.  On his way to pick her up, stop somewhere to take a shit.
 
 
     You know what's scarier than Halloween? Dating. You know what's scarier than Dating? Dating when you're older. Do you know what's scarier than that? Knowing that as much as I might make a joke at my Dad's expense, I know that in him I'm seeing my own future.
     Never mind that, at my age, I've already become acquainted with #1.



 
 
Raising My Father
RaisingMyFather.blogspot.com
jimduchene.blogspot.com  Fifty Shades of Funny
@JimDuchene
   

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