Monday, July 4, 2022

Desert Exposure Vs The World

 as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine

RaisingDad

by Jim and Henry Duchene


Desert Exposure vs The World

“I hate to sound like an old geezer, BUT”


Sometimes I feel like Tony Soprano in the very first scene of the very first episode of HBO’s The Sopranos, where he laments coming in at the tail end of the golden age of organized crime.

    In my case, I feel that way about books.

    I love books the way some people love their children, so it’s hard to believe they're on the way out, being replaced by an electronic media that adds little to the reading experience. Somehow, cozying in bed with a good iPhone doesn’t have the same appeal.

     People these days would rather experience things on a screen than on a page. They don’t know what they're missing. Myself, I still carry a book with me wherever I go, but I'm pretty much a lonely barnacle in an ocean of phone zombies. Science fiction writers imagined many things, but they never imagined that.

     There’s a lot to be said about something physical, something you can turn back the pages of. The experience is more satisfying. Not only that, but you can fall asleep with a book laying against your chest without having to worry that it will give you cancer.

Plus, I love the smell of books, especially old ones. I tried putting my nose to my phone once. All I did was leave a grease spot on the screen.

      My friend Taylor Streit–fisherman, author, raconteur–told me about a bookstore I didn’t know existed. Coas Books in Las Cruces. I visit Las Cruces at least once a month, but had never heard of it. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it is. I’ve enjoyed shopping at the bookstore in nearby Mesilla. The one at the plaza with a little blue sign by the front door that says “Book Store.” Still, you would think I’d have heard about Coas before now. My wife and I decided to make a special trip into town to visit the place.

     “I’m going to a bookstore,” I told my father on the way out. “Can I bring you back anything?”

     “Lunch,” he said.

     Out of loyalty, my wife and I first stopped in Mesilla. I asked the very nice lady at the bookstore if she had any books by Taylor. She pointed me to the front window display. I found a copy of Man Vs Fish, but I already have a signed one, so I left empty-handed.

     From there, we drove to Coas and discovered another bookstore to be loyal to. I was surprised at how huge the bookstore is. And quiet. Having been married twice, quiet is something I can appreciate. Sadly, I was told they were out of any books by my friend. Just in case, the helpful young lady at the front desk led me to the Fishing section to look for myself.

     “You know,” I said, not above name dropping to get a discount, “Mr. Streit told me about your bookstore. We met on the internet.”

     “A lot of people do,” she assured me.

     My wife wandered off to look for some Junie B. Jones books for our granddaughter. I scanned the fishing section, but didn’t find what I was looking for. No matter. It would give me a reason to come back. Now that I’m thinking about it, the Bible would fit in nicely on those shelves. A lot of fishermen in that book. Except for Noah. He only had two worms.

     I hate sounding like an old geezer, but I know I do. When Moses parted the Red Sea, I could have been on the other side fishing. That’s why I'm happy with my books, my newspapers, my magazines. What am I going to do when they’re gone? Assuming they cease to exist before I do, that is.

     Take Desert Exposure, for example. Isn’t it better to have something that doesn’t need to be charged before you can read it? As far as I’m concerned, the only thing worth turning on is my beautiful wife.

     With that in mind, let me offer my top ten reasons

  

Why Desert Exposure Is Better Than Electronic Media

  

     10) If you break an issue of Desert Exposure, you won't have to empty your bank account to replace it. I'm not saying electronic media is overpriced, I'm just saying P.T. Barnum would have seen you coming.

  

     9) You can share Desert Exposure. Although, to be honest, my father isn't too keen on sharing his morning newspaper. Even the sections he doesn't read.

     "Can I have the comics, pop?" I used to ask him when I was a kid.

     "No," he'd answer.

     "Why not?"

     "Because I said so," he’d say.

  

     8) When you're moving, just try protecting all of your valuables by wrapping them in your smartphone.

  

     7) What are you going to do with all that unused Silly Putty?

  

     6) If you forget to charge it... oh, wait, Desert Exposure doesn't need to be charged. Suckers!

  

     5) Don't even try housebreaking your dog on a computer. You’ll electrocute the poor thing.

  

     4) Hackers can't hack into the latest issue of Desert Exposure and steal your identity.

  

     3) Toward the end of World War II, Adolph Hitler was in his bunker working on a way to send mail electronically when the prototype caught fire, exploded, and the rest, as Bill O’Reilly will tell you, is history.

  

     2) Look what it did to Elvis.

     

     And the number one reason Desert Exposure is better than electronic media is:


     1) BECAUSE I SAID SO!

     

     Well, that always worked for my father.

  

 ************************

Shouldn’t you be smarter than your phone?

theduchenebrothers@gmail.com

@JimDuchene

 as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine