Even More Pit Bull Facts

  

And even MORE pit bull facts have come in, hence this third column.
     It was interesting to see the direction some of them took, delving into physics. And time & space. Even history. 
     These are my favorite kinds of columns.
     The ones that write themselves.

There were no Pit Bulls prior to the 1941 Roswell, New Mexico UFO crash. 

When you lose a sock doing laundry, you didn't lose it. A Pit Bull hid it from you. 

Under no circumstances should you ever give a Pit Bull your password or P.I.N. number. 

When you can't find your car keys, it's because a Pit Bull's just messing with you. 

When you're sleeping, a Pit Bull is taking your car for a joyride. 

Who was on the grassy knoll when President Kennedy was shot? A Pit Bull. 

To win World War Two we didn't drop atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima. We dropped Pit Bulls. 

The first dog we sent into space was a Pit Bull... and he didn't need a space suit. 

The reason Earth's magnetic poles are switching are Pit Bulls. 

There are no Pit Bulls in Hell because the devil can't afford to have his insurance rates go up. 

Yuri Gagarin was the first man in space. He got there because he was being chased by a Pit Bull. 

An asteroid hitting the Earth didn't cause the dinosaurs to become extinct. Pit Bulls did. 

There are no such thing as guided missiles. Only Pit Bulls with a purpose. 

You know the way something can feel so good it hurts? Pit Bulls are so nice, they're mean. 

It's not that Pit Bulls can't talk. They just refuse to communicate with an inferior species. 

In the 60s, a Pit Bull was the 5th Beatle. 

On 9-11 Muslim terrorists brought down the Twin Towers, but it was a Pit Bull who brought down Building #7. 

SEAL Team Six did not kill Osama bin Laden. No, his Pit Bull was just tired of not being able to eat bacon. 

Stephen Hawkins didn't always use a wheelchair. One day he was just late feeding his Pit Bull. 

A Pit Bull can warp Time & Space. 

Time Travel is possible. A Pit Bull's bark can blow you into the past, but you wouldn't survive the blast. 

The Lindburg baby wasn't kidnapped. Their Pit Bull was just extra hungry that day. 

Amelia Earhart didn't crash her plane into the Atlantic Ocean. She just had the misfortune of coming across a flying Pit Bull. 

Airplanes and boats don't disappear in the Bermuda Triangle because it's a focal point of paranormal activity. They disappear there because it's a breeding ground for Pit Bulls. 

When D.B. Cooper disappeared off the face of the Earth, never to be seen again, his Pit Bull's only comment was "Burp!" 

Jeffrey Dahmer was framed by his Pit Bull. 

A watched pot never boils. Unless a Pit Bull is watching it. 

Einstein didn't come up with E=mc². His Pit Bull did. 

Boxing promoter Don King owned a Pit Bull. That explains his hair. 

The Greek God Sisyphus is forever cursed to push a boulder up a mountain but never reach the top. His Pit Bull got to the top. 
  

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