RaisingDad

 Your Wife (talking to you): "Why are you only getting on the computer twice a day now?" You (talking to your wife): "I was thinking that would gives us more time to have sex." Your Wife: "Keep on thinking."    RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com. American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene   

  My brother's family has a holiday tradition.      Every Christmas, they get together as a family and bake Christmas cookies to hand out to friends and family as gifts.      He's cheap that way.      Of course, I have to trash talk him about it. You (talking to your wife): "Sweetie, why don't we go upstairs and get frisky?" Your Wife (talking to you): "I've got a better idea, why don't we make Christmas cookies?" You: "Yay! Christmas cookies!"    RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

It wasn't my  idea.      I was serving our father his gourmet enchiladas—now I get him the much more expensive Family Pack—and asked him, “What’s that?”      “Oh,” he sighed, tired, “it’s just the same old crap your brother sends me every Christmas.”      “Oh.”      “Would you do me a big favor, son?”      “Of course, pop.”      “Would you take it with you when you leave?”      “What do you want me to do with it?”      “I don’t care,” he said. “Just get rid of it.”       RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

 Is the election  over yet?     No?     But Fake News has already declared Joe Biden the winner.      “If only my husband’s erections lasted as long,” your wife posted on Facebook.        RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

I called our father on Thanksgiving to see how he was doing and to wish him a happy holiday.      "Hi, pop," I said.       "Hi, son," he answered.      "How was your turkey?"      "The one I live with?" he answered. "He's fine."    ******************************************* I called our father on Thanksgiving to see how he was doing.     “How’s your Thanksgiving been, pop?” I asked him.     “Oh, good, good,” he said.     “What are you thankful for?”     “I’m thankful for you, of course, and I’m thankful for the enchiladas you never forget to bring me, they’re so delicious. I’m also thankful for the coronavirus.”     “THE CORONAVIRUS!” I yelped. “Why are you thankful for the coronavirus?”     “It keeps your brother away.”    RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com   American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene  ...

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com   One thing I've noticed about the Coronavirus is it's given people a reason to be cheap.      Cheaper than they normally are.      Cheaper than me, even.      Actually, I’m not cheap. I’m frugal. When it comes to paying, I’m the first to put my hand in my pocket… and keep it there.      I’m constantly invited to party parades. Well... not me, actually. People know if they want something good, my wife is the one to invite. These celebrations include baby showers, graduations, even dog adoptions.      I invited my father to come along once.       “What’s that?” he asked.      “You don’t know what a parade is, pop?” I teased.      “Not the kind you’re talking about,” he answered.      I expla...