What Does THAT Have To Do With Anything?

"Do you want some bacon with your pancakes?"

     I love my wife. She keeps me well-fed. Unfortunately, that isn't me she's asking. She's talking to my Dad.

     "Do I want what?" my Dad asks her in return.

     "Bacon."

     "Hmm..." he says, considering it. And then, "What?"

     "I'd like some bacon," I tell my wife.

     She ignores me, and continues asking my Dad, "Bacon. Do you want some bacon with your pancakes."

     "I already have pancakes," my Dad informs her.

     "I'd like some bacon," I inform her, too.

     She turns her head to me.

     "You can't have any," she informs me back.

     Jeez... you have one little heart attack.

     "Not pancakes, Dad. Bacon. Do you want any?"

     "Any what?"

     "Bacon."

     "Bacon?"

     "Yes, Dad. Bacon."

     My Dad sits back in his chair, looks at his rapidly cooling pancakes, and takes his time considering my wife's question.

     "Hmm... ahh... well... you know I don't like that bacon you bought," he tells her. "I told you, it's tough."

     Tough? It's the same bacon he's been eating for only the last five years. And now he's got a problem with it?

     Let me clue you guys in on something. My wife isn't just a good cook... she's a great cook. Even if she bought bacon that was tough, she would find a way to make it not tough. I don't know how she would do it, but she would do it.

     Sometimes I think my Dad just complains to complain. I've never noticed any of his complaints keeping him from eating the food he's complaining about. And I've never noticed him complaining when I'm taking out my wallet to pay for the food he likes to complain about. Personally, I think the only people who should be allowed to complain are the people who are footing the bill. Whether it's me on the small scale or American taxpayers on the grand scale.

     What's my Dad going to complain about next? Me?

     "I don't like your husband."

     "My husband?"

     "Yeah. He's always watching me when I'm trying to read the newspaper."

     "That's your son, Dad."

     "What does that have to do with anything?"

 

 

Raising My Father

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