It's time for dinner.
I don't have to consult a psychic, I can read the signs myself. My Dad has just walked into the house and is standing in the kitchen looking like he's just lost something.
My wife is still putting it all together. She grabs all the veggies out of the refrigerator, makes a quick but tasty salad, and sets it where she always does: on the counter top for all of us to help ourselves.
Hmmm, help ourselves. We've only done this a million times before.
My Dad slowly walks to the counter where the salad is and stands in front of it. He doesn't know I'm watching him. If he does, he doesn't care. Meanwhile, my wife is working on the other half of dinner. She has her back to him.
I don't have to consult a psychic, I can read the signs myself. My Dad has just walked into the house and is standing in the kitchen looking like he's just lost something.
My wife is still putting it all together. She grabs all the veggies out of the refrigerator, makes a quick but tasty salad, and sets it where she always does: on the counter top for all of us to help ourselves.
Hmmm, help ourselves. We've only done this a million times before.
My Dad slowly walks to the counter where the salad is and stands in front of it. He doesn't know I'm watching him. If he does, he doesn't care. Meanwhile, my wife is working on the other half of dinner. She has her back to him.
I watch my Dad just stand there in front of the counter looking at the salad. Standing. Looking. Standing. Looking. Standing and looking some more.
"Ahhh, my Dad says. "Hmmm." Smack, smack, smack! Click, click, click! "Ahhh, mmmm."
He's not making a move. He's just staring at the veggies. If they were people, they'd be under his hypnotic spell by now. Maybe he'd even be having them rob banks for him, the evil puppet master.
I take a glance at the veggies myself, trying to see what he's seeing. Nope, they're just plain ol' veggies. I have an old girlfriend I used to date who might find the cucumbers interesting, but other than that, there's nothing special about them.
After two or three minutes my wife notices that my dad has not served himself his salad and has just been standing in front of the counter. She takes a quick look, sprints (I'm kidding, but not by much.) to the cabinet right next to him, and gets his favorite salad dish out and places it in front of him.
"Ahhh, my Dad says. "Hmmm." Smack, smack, smack! Click, click, click! "Ahhh, mmmm."
He's not making a move. He's just staring at the veggies. If they were people, they'd be under his hypnotic spell by now. Maybe he'd even be having them rob banks for him, the evil puppet master.
I take a glance at the veggies myself, trying to see what he's seeing. Nope, they're just plain ol' veggies. I have an old girlfriend I used to date who might find the cucumbers interesting, but other than that, there's nothing special about them.
After two or three minutes my wife notices that my dad has not served himself his salad and has just been standing in front of the counter. She takes a quick look, sprints (I'm kidding, but not by much.) to the cabinet right next to him, and gets his favorite salad dish out and places it in front of him.
And that's when, and only when, my Dad starts to serve himself salad.
Ah, the more things change, the worse they get... I mean, stay the same.
Raising My Father
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
jimduchene.BlogSpot.com Fifty Shades of Funny
@JimDuchene
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