Monday, July 29, 2013

Off To Costco (Part Three)

     I have no luck getting it to work, and my wife now wants to buy my Dad a new TV.
     Buy him a new TV ?
     "He never watched the old one," I tell my wife when we're back in the kitchen.  "He is always in the great room watching the family set." I say "watching," but what I really mean is "hogging." 
     "He likes to listen to his music," she counters.
     Is she telling me that a thousand bucks have to be spent so my Dad can listen to music on one of the music channels on the TV? There's a cheaper alternative to that: Listen to it on the radio. He already has one of those, and it works pretty good when he doesn't lower the volume and think it's broken. Besides, I know who's going to end up getting stuck paying for my Dad's new TV.
     Today my wife invites me to go to Costco with her.
     "Costco?" my Dad says, his ears perking up. He likes to go to Costco.
     I know what that means, since we just went to Costco yesterday.
     She's buying a new TV set.
     There's no sense arguing or fighting with the boss lady. Just move on. Go with the flow, and today the flow will be taking me to Costco, where I'll enjoy a hot dog and a cold drink... AND buy a new TV. 
     Let me take a quick break here to tell you a hot dog story. My younger brother and I took a trip to Las Vegas. We were seeing the sights, drinking those dollar margaritas, and somewhere along the line we got our hands on a coupon book for a particular casino which shall remain nameless, but only because I can't remember which one it was. With the book we got a free pull on a slot machine, a pack of cards, some dice, and a coupon for a free foot-long hot dog. I don't like hot dogs, but I love FREE hot dogs. We made our way to the concession area, and got in line. I was first, grabbed y hot dog, and gave the cashier my coupon. My brother was behind me, and I assumed he did the same. I put some mustard, ketchup, and relish on my hot dog, and went to find a table to sit down at. I assumed my brother did the same, and would join me. When I sat down, my brother was right behind me with his hot dog in one hand, a smile on his face, and... the coupon for the free hot dog in his other hand!
     HE PAID FIVE BUCKS FOR A FREE HOT DOG!
     "What were you thinking?" I asked him, laughing.
     "I was just so happy to get a free foot-long I forgot to hand him my coupon," he, rather sheepishly, admitted.
     Like a good big brother...
     I'VE NEVER LET HIM FORGET IT.
     But back to Costco...
     To make a long story short, we buy him a new TV. A 36" TV. High definition, but I guess they all come that way nowadays.
     What did I say my TV is? An 18" with NO CONVERTOR. I guess there will be no listening to the music channels for me.
     We get home and my wife tells him that we have bought him a new TV.
     "Ohhhhhh," my Dad says. "A new TV . . . hmmmmmmm . . . I hope it works better then the old one . . . click click click smack smack smack . . . A new TV? Ohhh, ahhh--hee, hee, hee."
     He shakes his head.
     My Dad is nothing but gracious.
     "I don't know," he continues, shaking his head some more with a cat-caught-the-canary on his face. "I hope it works."
     And he walks into the great room to watch his game.
     No "Thank you."
     No "Here's a few bucks to help pay for it."
     No "Thanks, son." . . .
     No "You shouldn't have."
     "Are you hungry?" my wife asks him. She loves that old man.
     "You're busy," my Dad tells her. "Don't worry about me."
     Which means, "Darn tootin' I'm hungry."
     And he walks away into the great room to watch his game.
     Mumbling and clicking and smacking.
    
  
Raising My Father
RaisingMyFather.blogspot.com
jimduchene.blogspot.com  Fifty Shades of Funny
@JimDuchene
 

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