Everything But The Lotto Numbers

My Dad knows everything.
    
     My Dad: "Is it seven?"
     My Wife: "No, it's only six."
     My Dad: "I knew that."

     My Dad: "What day's today?"
     Me: "It's Wednesday, Dad."
     My Dad: "I knew that."

     My Dad: "Does Cleveland play today?"
     My Wife: "Yes."
     My Dad: "Yeah, I thought so."
     My Wife: "They play at five."
     My Dad: "I knew that."

     My Dad: "Hey, where's your wife going?"
     Me: "She's got an appointment with Sancho."
     My Dad: "Who?"
     Me: "Sancho."
     My Dad: "Oh, yeah. I think she told me already."
     Me: "He's her physical therapist."
     My Dad: I knew that."

     My Dad: "Where's he going?"
     My Wife: "For a burger."
     My Dad: "Ohhh... that's what I thought. He looked hungry."
     My Wife: "Are you hungry?"
     My Dad: "What?"
     My Wife: "Do you want him to bring you back something to eat?"
     My Dad: "That depends. Where's he going?"
     My Wife: "For a burger."
     My Dad: "I knew that."

     My Dad is watching a baseball game. Bottom of the ninth. The score is five-five. The batter hits a home run and wins the game.
     Dad: "Ooo-wee! I knew he was going to do that, I knew it! These games are fixed."
 
 


Raising My Father
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