RaisingDad

I have a ghost in my house.      Every time I go upstairs, I'll make sure the lights are all off downstairs.      However, when I was a kid, and it was my Dad who was footing the bill, I didn't concern myself with little things like conserving electricity or water. Now that the bills come addressed to me, I've seen the light and don't feel the need to be so wasteful.      Once upstairs, I'll do what I need to do, and then go back downstairs for one reason or another. Somehow, all the lights and even the TV in the great room will be turned on. Only there'll be nobody there.      I'll turn everything off, and then go back upstairs.     When I go back downstairs... everything will be turned on again.      I'll turn it off.      Go back upstairs.      Go back downstairs.      Everything's on.  ...

Yesterday, my wife and I and my Dad went to Costco. It didn't cost me too much. There were no gourmet cheeses that caught my Dad's eye, and he didn't spot anything else he wanted to drop into the cart without my seeing.      We were about done, my Dad was thirsty, so he and I headed toward the food court for a snack and a drink.      "You want a hot dog, Dad?" I asked him.      "What?"      "A hot dog?"      "Do I want a hot dog?"      "Yeah."      "I told you, I'm thirsty."      "I know you're thirsty, Dad, but would you like something to eat, too?"      He let me know in no uncertain terms that he was thirsty, only thirsty, and if he was hungry, he would have let me known in even more uncertain terms.      I stand in line, wait for my turn to order...

My Dad knows everything.           My Dad: "Is it seven?"      My Wife: "No, it's only six."      My Dad: "I knew that."      My Dad: "What day's today?"      Me: "It's Wednesday, Dad."      My Dad: "I knew that."      My Dad: "Does Cleveland play today?"      My Wife: "Yes."      My Dad: "Yeah, I thought so."      My Wife: "They play at five."      My Dad: "I knew that."      My Dad: "Hey, where's your wife going?"      Me: "She's got an appointment with Sancho."      My Dad: "Who?"      Me: "Sancho."      My Dad: "Oh, yeah. I think she told me already."      Me: "He's her physical therapist."   ...