RaisingDad

Earlier today, my wife has my Dad all set up in the great room, his favorite place to watch TV.      He has a nice little father-in-law house in front of ours, with a very nice TV set of his own, but his favorite place to watch TV is in our house. So he's sitting in his ( my ) favorite chair, and my wife turned a baseball game on for him. It's not one of his favorite teams, but it's close enough. His favorite team will play later tonight.      The lights are all on, I don't know why that is. I prefer watching TV with the lights off, but I think my Dad gets more enjoyment from the TV-watching experience when he's wasting my money. The game is on, and he has his tea and snacks next to him on a coffee table.      I'm upstairs with my grandson. We go downstairs for a snack, and the lights are all on in the great room, even the kitchen lights are on, and the TV is still blasting away with the game my Dad said he couldn't wa...

My Dad has been sick for a week, and what he likes to do when he's sick is sit in the kitchen drinking his tea or sit in the great room watching his baseball, and blow his nose. All day long it's:      S neeze, sneeze, sneeze!      "I'm sick," he'll enlighten us.      Cough, cough, cough!      "Oh boy, I don't feel so good," and then he'll swallow whatever came up with the cough.      Blow, blow, blow!      "What's for lunch?" he'll ask, as he peeks into his handkerchief.      So much for my lunch.      He'll spend all his time in the common areas coughing and sneezing and complaining. I feel like telling him, " Dad , go to your room," but my wife will remind me, "He's your Dad," so I'll hold my tongue. I like the compassion the new Pope has shown since he's been in office, but my wife's got him beat by a ...

Today, while shopping at Costco, my wife decides she wants to buy a prime rib.      I pretty much let my wife buy what she wants when it comes to the kitchen, because she's the one who cooks. My wife's a good cook. Not only that, she's a great cook. But she might not be so great if I stuck my nose in her business every time she wanted to buy a toothpick.      The prime rib's not cheap. In fact, it's pretty expensive. I do the math: It costs almost enough for me to have steak and lobster at my favorite steakhouse. I bet I could even wash it all down with several Tecate's besides.      To make a long story short, my wife cooks it, and it's a five-star dinner. It always is. Except for that one time that I swore I'd never mention. ( Oops! )      Even my Dad is impressed.      "Boy," he says, "I'm telling you, this meat is good! "      He's sitting in front of t...

I bought my Dad the Major League Baseball package again this year.      Well, my wife actually bought it. I just get the credit.      Myself? Well, I'm not really that much into baseball, although I do remember watching it on TV when I was a toddler. Back then, there were only three channels to choose from, and we only had one TV, so what other choice did I have? I also remember watching the soap opera The Edge of Night and Sing Along with Mitch Miller ("Follow the bouncing ball!").      Who cares? I can hear you asking.      I agree.      With the Major League Baseball package my Dad can watch any baseball game being played on that day... LIVE! (Did my capitalizing the word "live," and adding an exclamation point to the end make that sentence more exciting?      I didn't think so.)      His favorite team is the Cleveland Indians, so...

As for my burrito? Well, it was hot on the outside and cold on the inside. I ate it anyway.      It wasn't that bad.     Raising My Father RaisingMyFather.blogspot.com jimduchene.BlogSpot.com  Fifty Shades of Funny @JimDuchene  

When it comes to the microwave, when are they going to invent one that can warm your food even if that food is in a container that has metal in it or on it?      I have a coffee cup that I bought at a 24/7 type of store. I bought it so that I could carry my coffee around with me wherever I go. The only problem with it is that it has a thin strip of metal around it, so, when my coffee gets cold, I can't just pop it into the microwave for a minute or two to heat it back up.      We live in the 21st century. I can live without the flying cars and personal robots we're supposed to have by now. What I can't live without is a hot cup of coffee. Get busy on  fixing the microwave, boys.      Since I'm on the subject of kitchen appliances and ruined food, I'd just like to ask: Who's the practical joker who invented the burn-your-toast setting on the toaster?      More than that, what engineeri...

I continue to swear that My Dad has some sort of device that alerts him to when I go downstairs to the kitchen or the great room.      Today, he had been in his room for a couple of hours. I know it was that long, because I have to turn off all TV and lights when he exits my house and enters his. It would take him less than two seconds to turn the TV off, as well as the lamp next to his ( my ) favorite chair. It would take him no seconds to flip the switch to the kitchen lights as he walks past.      My wife, bless her heart, will leave everything on for him. Me? Well, since I pay the bills, I turn everything off.      So, two hours after I've turned off the TV and all the lights, I go back downstairs to heat myself a frozen burrito from Costco. I grab it from the freezer, toss it into the microwave, and set the timer for two minutes. No sooner do I press the "start" button, than I hear the k...

The weather has warmed up a bit, and I was in the mood for something cold and sweet. I opened the freezer door, thinking a Popsicle would sure hit the spot.      Hmm, we had plenty of Popsicles... but they were all of the white variety. I don't even know what flavor white is. I grabbed one anyway. Something's better than nothing, I guess. Even if it's something you don't want.      I looked at the plain white wrapper it came in. There wasn't anything on it to indicate what flavor it was either. I opened it anyway, and took a lick...      It tasted like feet!      My wife had the bad judgement to walk in the kitchen at that moment. She saw the look on my face.      "You better finish them," she told me, "because nobody likes those."      Say what? Why's it my job to eat these Popsicles that taste like the bottom of a bird cage? The last time I tasted somethi...