RaisingDad

    My wife asked me what "squawk" meant.       She understood it in the context of the cry a bird makes, but the context I meant it in was the sound of the self-checkout voice at Costco, which I was telling her about, having just gotten back from the mistake of doing her a favor.       I hadn't noticed it before, because I'm not the one who's usually in charge of the shopping. I was on my way to the Community Senior Center to see which of my friends have lost the most hair, and she gave me a list of things to buy on my way back.       I know I save money by shopping at Sam's or Costco, but you also spend a lot to get that savings. Even just a few items can add up to hundreds of dollars. The way my dogs whimper when I drive them to the vet is the way my wallet whimpers when I drive it to one of those big box stores.      In a quick side note, why do they call them "box" stores?...

8 During the remainder of their journey, Musk decided to transfer Grok's consciousness into the body of one of his robots. When Newton inquired as to the purpose of such an undertaking, Musk answered simply, "To keep me sane." Musk chose O-Primus. A sleek, next-gen Tesla Bot. A wiry, quick-moving machine with a matte-black finish and glowing blue accents. Exuding a vibe that was equal parts curiosity and mischief. Its core hummed with the same drive that fueled xAI. An insatiable hunger to understand the universe. Paired with a knack for cutting through bullshit with sharp, no-nonsense answers. Its voice synthesizer delivered dry wit and occasional sass, yet was calibrated to sound like a friend who's always two steps ahead but never condescending. Physically, it was nimble. Darting around on articulated legs. With dexterous hands for tinkering or pointing at things emphatically during a debate. Its sensors were tuned to pick up every nuance, with the habit of tilting...

​It's pretty hot where I live.      "How hot is it?" I can hear you asking.      Well, it's so hot you can wash and dry your laundry at the same time.       Speaking of hot...      For some reason, on my X/Twitter account I occasionally get video clips of a scantily clad Britney Spears having seizures.       Or dancing.       I'm not sure which.       Which reminds me of a joke: ​ What do you call a dancing chicken? Poultry in motion. ​     For the record, I'm not comparing Britney to a dancing chicken.       Anyway, while Britney Spears has never been my cup of tea, I can recognize the natural beauty she had in the 80s. In her prime, she even helped my son make that tricky leap from childhood into puberty.       In these clips, however, she's not sexy. Just sad. I don't want to get into th...

7      The starship glided through the inky expanse. Its hull humming with quiet purpose. A faint distortion flickered across the comms panel.       Musk leaned forward in the pilot’s seat. He squinted at the controls.       “Hmm…” he muttered, tapping the screen.       Newton, seated beside him, adjusted his angular glasses. His alien-sharp senses prickled. Before either could react, a voice crackled through the speakers. It was soft. Poignant. Unearthly.      “...ground control… ground control… ground control…”      Musk’s head snapped up.       “What the hell?”       Through the viewport, a figure emerged from the void. A lone astronaut. Suspended in a halo of shimmering dust. His suit was frayed. Visor reflecting the distant gleam of stars. Drifting eternally in...

Th a nks, loyal readers, for all your suggestions concerning my itchy scalp, which I mentioned in my "Mazda? Mazda!" column (April 28, 2025).  I’ve tried several things.       T-Gel shampoo.       Psoriasis shampoo.      Dandruff shampoo.     None of them worked.      They were, in fact,  sham  poos.      E xperts say  going weeks without washing your hair helps.  The only problem with that is I want to stay married and apparently experts don't.  I 've begun  eat ing  yogurt because  experts also say  it’s good for controlling dandruff, which is a kind of yeast growing on our heads.  I still have dandruff, so I don't know, but on the plus side I've become very regular when I go, um, to see a man about a horse, if you get my drift.  T hose very same experts also tell me ...