Birthday Disappointments

 Early in my first marriage, my starter wife gave me Teddy Ruxpin for my birthday.

     Teddy Ruxpin was the first animatronic toy. A stuffed bear similar to the ones in Disneyland's Country Bear Jamboree. It talked and sang, moved its mouth and eyes, and I couldn't think of a better way to waste a bunch of money. Her gift should have been a tipoff that my marriage wasn't going to last.

     "Don't you love it?" she gushed.

     I pretended to be grateful, but it was obvious the person who she had really gotten that doll for was herself. I'm not saying my first wife was selfish, but she was.

     Cut to the present, a second marriage, a different wife, and another birthday.

     My wife and I were born six days and ten years apart. 

     Her on the 16th, and me on the 10th. 

     "What year?" I can hear you ask.

     "None of your business," I can hear my wife answer. 

     Not only is she beautiful, but she's cagey about her age. 

     When she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I told her I wanted Call of Duty: Black Ops 6. It was released back in October, but I hadn't gotten myself a copy yet. 

     I don't know if she forgot or wasn't paying attention, most likely she just doesn't like me playing those kind of first-person shooter kind of games, but when my birthday came around I unwrapped my present to find a a 3D photo cube. That's one of those crystal cubes with a laser-etched photo engraved into them. In this case, it was a headshot of me and her on our first date. One of my favorite pictures.

     Sure, I was disappointed. 

     Yes, it was a very touching and thoughtful gift, but it wasn't what I wanted.

     But that's okay, because for her birthday I'm getting her a copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops 6.

  

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