RaisingDad

  Our father must have been in the mood to set some family history straight.      We were talking about how President Trump heroically couldn’t serve in the military because of his patriotic bone spurs and how Clueless Joe weaseled out of going to Vietnam by receiving a Section 8.      “I know my brother wanted to join the Navy,” I told him, “but dropped out when he got a girl pregnant.”       “Is that what he told you?” he asked, then told me the real story: Seems you volunteered and were itching to go, but in the middle of your physical you were discharged when, standing in the middle of a room full of guys in their underwear, you popped a boner.      “Really, pop?” I asked, not believing it.      “As God is my witness,” he sadly confirmed.    RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com.  American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine My wife lied to me.      “No, I didn’t,” she insisted.      But she did.       By omission, that is.      You see, every year we go to a Christmas Fair with my buddy Maloney and his wife, Gail. Local businesses set up booths there to sell their wares. This year, however, my beautiful wife “conveniently” forgot to tell me Maloney wasn’t coming. He played it smart and scheduled an appointment with an exterminator to fumigate his house. I’m not saying shopping with your wife is boring, but when a man would rather breathe poison, well, you tell me.      It cost five dollars to park in the underground garage, but a sign said no cash. Credit or debit only.       “What if you don’t have a credit or debit card?” I asked my wife. “By the time you see the sign, you’re stuck.”   ...