RaisingDad

sing to the tune of Neil Sedaka's  Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Can’t doo-doo Ow owie ouch ow ow Grumble grumble ow owie ouch ow ow Grumble grumble ow owie ouch ow ow Getting old is hard to do    It takes so long for me to pee I start at two and I end at three Forget to zip when I'm through 'Cause getting old is hard to do    Transgendered men, it hurts to think How'd it feel chopping off my dink Either way, my sex life's through 'Cause getting old is hard to do    They say that getting old is hard to do Feet hurt bad My hair's thinning, too Limp dick that will only bend If I weren't so old I could be filling my wife's hole again    I beg of you, just let me die When I bend my knees I start to cry My insides all turning to goo ' Cause getting old is hard to do    They say that getting old is hard to do Eyesight's gone My hearing is, too Will this constipation end?...

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com I know I complain about my father.      In fact, I probably complain about my father a lot, but I do give him credit for the nuggets of wisdom he’s passed on to me. Before my first marriage, he told me, “Son, if you’re ever tempted to cheat on your wife, make sure it’s with someone worth losing your marriage over.”      Good advice. Too bad my ex-wife didn’t follow it, maybe we’d still be married. In the end, it worked out better. I met and married my second wife. She’s beautiful AND she loves to cook. That’s a nice combination.      My ex-wife?      Well, she and her boyfriend lost their jobs when they got caught stealing refrigerators from where they worked. How you steal something that big is beyond me. Maybe that’s why I’m still employed. Still, it didn’t surprise me. When I woke up the morning after our wedding ...