Saturday, July 16, 2016

Over At Twitter

Over at my Twitter account, they sent me a suggestion that I might want to follow Oasis Senior Advisor. I thought, "Why does Twitter assume I'm at an age where I'd want to follow accounts geared toward the elderly?"
     I read the message all the way to the bottom, thinking it might say, "This is for your brother," but it didn't. I figured if Twitter knew I was at an advanced age, it might also know that I have a brother who was in more need of the information. He's not as old as I am, he just looks that way.
     Taking my train of thought to its logical conclusion, I decided that if Twitter wanted to send him a message via me, it wouldn't be some senior advice account, it would be from the Oasis Getting No Booty Advisor.
     I also take umbrage with the word "Oasis" as the name of that senior advisor account. That implies that old age is a wonderful thing. Something to be looked forward to. Youth is a harsh, lifeless desert. Old age is the beautiful oasis we find at the end of it.
     No, "oasis" isn't the right word.
     Maybe they could have called it the "This Is Crap" Senior Advisor.
     Or the "I Knew That" Senior Advisor.
     The "I'm Constipated" Senior Advisor.
     Or the "I Just Crapped The Bed" Senior Advisor.
     The "You Always Serve Me Too Much" Senior Advisor.
     Or the "They're A Bunch Of Characters" Senior Advisor.
     The "Who Are You?" Senior Advisor.
     Maybe even the "Why's That Guy I Don't Know Always Hanging Around?" Senior Advisor.
     The "He'd Better Not Be Trying To Get Frisky With My Daughter-In-Law" Senior Advisor.
     Which would lead to the "Where's My Gun?" Senior Advisor.
 
 
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