I took my wife on a mini-vacation.
Did we stay with the Trumps in New York? Visit the Middletons in England? Go to Paris with the Obamas on the taxpayer's dime? No, our mini-vacation was more of a four day road trip.
It's the first vacation that she and I have gone on (alone) for almost four years. My Dad is always my wife's foremost concern, and, for the last four years, if we went on vacation, he went on vacation.
At my expense.
Not that I'm complaining about the cost. I'm not even complaining about my Dad's lack of desire to produce anything resembling George Washington when the time comes to pay for anything. My main complaint would be the absence of any gratitude at the end of any transaction.
No "thank you."
No "but I was going to pay for it."
No "of all my kids, you're my favorite."
To be fair, however, I was probably the same way when I was a kid, and I probably offered him the same sense of entitlement and lack of gratitude he offers me now. And, to be truthful, there's probably no probably about it.
"We're going to go out of town for a few days, Dad," I said, when I first broke the news to him.
His eyes lit up. He's always up for a trip, even though he spends most of it complaining and telling us to pull over because he needs to go to the bathroom.
"Really?" he asked. "Your wife didn't say anything to me about it. Where are we going?"
"Well, it's just me and the wife this time, Dad. Alone."
"What?"
"It's just me and the wife."
"Just you and the wife?"
"Yes."
"Going on vacation?"
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Yes. We need a break."
"A break?"
"Yes."
"What kind of break?"
"Just a break, Dad."
"From what?"
"What?" Now he's got me doing it.
"A break from what?"
"Dad, you know how it is. You were married."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Sometimes it's just nice to be alone, you know. With your wife."
"You want to be alone with your wife?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"If you want to alone with your wife, all you have to do is tell me. I can take a hint."
"And what?"
"What?"
"And what?"
"Well, I'll let you be alone."
"You will?"
"Of course I will. You can go upstairs and be alone with your wife, and I'll just stay down here and watch TV."
Hmmm, that's not exactly what I had in mind when I told him I'd like to spend some time alone with my wife.
Did we stay with the Trumps in New York? Visit the Middletons in England? Go to Paris with the Obamas on the taxpayer's dime? No, our mini-vacation was more of a four day road trip.
It's the first vacation that she and I have gone on (alone) for almost four years. My Dad is always my wife's foremost concern, and, for the last four years, if we went on vacation, he went on vacation.
At my expense.
Not that I'm complaining about the cost. I'm not even complaining about my Dad's lack of desire to produce anything resembling George Washington when the time comes to pay for anything. My main complaint would be the absence of any gratitude at the end of any transaction.
No "thank you."
No "but I was going to pay for it."
No "of all my kids, you're my favorite."
To be fair, however, I was probably the same way when I was a kid, and I probably offered him the same sense of entitlement and lack of gratitude he offers me now. And, to be truthful, there's probably no probably about it.
"We're going to go out of town for a few days, Dad," I said, when I first broke the news to him.
His eyes lit up. He's always up for a trip, even though he spends most of it complaining and telling us to pull over because he needs to go to the bathroom.
"Really?" he asked. "Your wife didn't say anything to me about it. Where are we going?"
"Well, it's just me and the wife this time, Dad. Alone."
"What?"
"It's just me and the wife."
"Just you and the wife?"
"Yes."
"Going on vacation?"
"Yes."
"Alone?"
"Yes. We need a break."
"A break?"
"Yes."
"What kind of break?"
"Just a break, Dad."
"From what?"
"What?" Now he's got me doing it.
"A break from what?"
"Dad, you know how it is. You were married."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Sometimes it's just nice to be alone, you know. With your wife."
"You want to be alone with your wife?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"If you want to alone with your wife, all you have to do is tell me. I can take a hint."
"And what?"
"What?"
"And what?"
"Well, I'll let you be alone."
"You will?"
"Of course I will. You can go upstairs and be alone with your wife, and I'll just stay down here and watch TV."
Hmmm, that's not exactly what I had in mind when I told him I'd like to spend some time alone with my wife.
Raising My Father
RaisingMyFather.blogspot.com
jimduchene.blogspot.com Fifty Shades of Funny
@JimDuchene
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