RaisingDad

I saw an advertisement for INTRODUCING! The New Glock! It was a HOT DEAL! at $559.99! You know what? It looks just like the OLD Glock.      Just more expensive.      I looked carefully at the picture and couldn’t see anything that was new about it. It’s like when Colgate toothpaste advertised “New Colgate! Now With MFP!”     Well, MFP turned out to stand for “More Fluoride Power.” In other words, it had fluoride, which it always had. There was nothing new about it at all. I guess what PT Barnum said was true:     There’s one of you born every minute.       I’ve got some bad news.     I was listening to KROQ’s Kevin & Bean show, and they were talking about how Daryl Strawberry was so sex addicted he would arrange to have sex during baseball games he was playing in.     Remember those days?     Not with YOUR Alzheimer’s, you don’t.     I don’t call it Sex Addicti...

Even before he was diagnosed pre-Alzheimer’s, my father never had an internal editor to filter out the things he shouldn’t say. If you had a question, but didn’t want an honest answer, my father was not the one to ask.      He was more than blunt, he was brutally blunt.      Another thing he was, especially in his younger days before he was married, was a hound dog. If you’ve ever heard the song Nosy Joe by Bull Moose Jackson, it pretty much tells the story of my father’s bachelor years.      I remember once going with my father to look at a truck he saw advertised in the Classifieds section of the newspaper. He was going to go alone, but my mother made him take me along.      He pulled up to the house. We both got off, and he knocked on the door. A very attractive lady greeted us, and then went inside to get her husband.       When the man came outside...

Somehow, my brother remembers Christmas like this:      "That year I got the top of the line, decked out, most expensive Schwinn bicycle ever. It must have cost our father a week's salary, maybe two. Y ou got an air pump, a tire-repair kit, two tire tubes, and a dollar. You looked at what Santa left you and asked our father, 'Dad, why did Santa Claus bring me this stuff?'      " Dad answered, 'In case your brother gets a flat. And the dollar is for you to buy him a soda.'      "Best Christmas ever..."     Raising My Father RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com  American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene  

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com   "Honey," my wife said, giving me her sweetest smile. "I need you to fix the shower curtain in dad's bathroom."     “Again?” I questioned.     “Again,” she confirmed.     “But I just fixed it,” I griped.     "Well, fix it again,” she countered.     "It can't be broken," I insisted.     "And yet it is," she insisted back.     “ Again? ” I mumbled to myself, because I knew the only one in this room interested in hearing my complaints was me.     I must have fixed that darn thing--what?--eight, nine, ten times? It seems I retired from a job I enjoyed just to spend that retirement fixing my father's shower curtain. It’s not that it’s hard to fix, because it’s not, but that’s not the problem.     "The problem," I expla...