RaisingDad

Reluctantly, my lovely wife and I had to leave my father alone for more than a few minutes one morning. We don't usually like to do that, but some things can't be helped.      "I'll be fine," he assured us, waving us off, "I'll be fine."      Hmm, I though to myself, I wonder what he's up to? I'm not saying my father's as much trouble as the average toddler or teen.      I'm saying he's more.      Fortunately, our house was still standing when we got back home, and we found my father sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of hot tea.      "How did it go, Dad?" I asked him, cautiously taking a look around. Everything seemed okay.      "It went fine," he told me.      "That's good," I said, letting myself relax a bit.      "Except for the fire alarm."      "Fire alarm!" I sputtered. "What ABOUT the fire alarm?"      "It went...

Whenever I'm asked if I smoke, I answer, "Only for the first 18 years of my life."      My father was a smoker, you see, and the amount of second-hand smoke I inhaled could have choked a horse, assuming that horse was a non-smoker.      When I was about 10, my father was out of cigarettes and drove me to the store to buy him some. You could do that in those days.      The problem was, it was POURING. It was raining so hard when I looked to the other side of the street I saw animals lining up two by two.      So we get in the car, pull out of the carport, and my father drives to the nearest convenience store. I get out and immediately get soaked.      Umbrella?      My father didn't believe in wasting money on things you rarely used. If he bought me an umbrella, what would he have to buy me next, a personal lightning rod?      Before I could run off, he open...

Reluctantly, my lovely wife and I had to leave my father alone for more than a few minutes one morning. We don't usually like to do that, but some things can't be helped.      "I'll be fine," he assured us, waving us off, "I'll be fine."      Hmm, I though to myself, I wonder what he's up to? I'm not saying my father's as much trouble as the average toddler or teen.      I'm saying he's more.      Fortunately, our house was still standing when we got back home, and we found my father sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of hot tea.      "How did it go, Dad?" I asked him, cautiously taking a look around. Everything seemed okay.      "It went fine," he told me.      "That's good," I said, letting myself relax a bit.      "Except for the fire alarm."      "Fire alarm!" I sputtered. "What ABOUT the fire alarm?"      "It went...

My father likes honey in his tea.     This morning, out of the kindness of my heart, I went to a farmer's market and bought him some raw honey, straight from the beehive. I even bought him a flavor my wife assured me he liked, Orange Blossom. I didn't know honey came in different flavors, but that's neither here nor there. Well, that's not quite true. The honey's here and my money's there .     Later, as my wife was making his tea, she told him how I went out of my way just so he could have a local honey to sweeten it with. My father insists local honey is good for his allergies. I don’t suffer from any, so I wouldn’t know about that, but if HE thinks it does...     "You'll like it, dad," I told him. "The guy I bought it from harvests the honey himself."     The honey contains no extra ingredients, and it's not cheap. I told him that, except for the "it's not cheap" part.    ...