It Was Ten Cents? (part three)

I wrote a little bit about food in last Monday's "Pigs Is Pigs" column.

I have another observation.

As much as Italians love life and enjoy eating, they really dropped the ball with desserts. France has delicious desserts. So does Germany. But Italy…

I've never had panna cotta, but isn't it just custard? I've had custard. I'm not impressed. Tiramisu? Wasn't he the Japanese warlord from Shōgun? You can tell cannoli desperately wants to be an éclair, but fails miserably. And why have gelato when you can have the real thing: ice cream! 

Preferably Mint Chocolate Chip from Baskin-Robbins. Personally, I'm a Dairy Queen kind of guy myself, but the rest of my family loves BR's chilly green concoction. Many's been the night when my wife has interrupted a perfectly good rerun of Just Shoot Me by asking me to go buy her a quart. I go…

…but I'm not happy about it.

You see, I just don't have the energy anymore. Of Newton's Laws of Physics, you can stick me in the "An object at rest tends to stay at rest" category. Don't get me wrong, at my age I can still be the life of the party, just so long as the party ends by 8pm.

"Isn't ending a party so early an inconvenience to the rest of the guests?" I hear you ask.

I'm retired, nosey.

That's not my problem any more.

Which reminds me of a joke:

How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it will take all day.

Unfortunately, there are no senior citizen discounts at Baskin-Robbins or Dairy Queen. It's like they're telling me, "You're an old guy. You've had time to earn the money."

Like me and my family, my beloved mother had a sweet tooth. Candy was her thing. She wasn't much for salty snacks. When she was a young girl she used to catch the bus to go to work downtown (yes, kids, they used to do that in those days). At the bus stop there was an old lady who sold pretzels for 5 cents apiece. She came to believe the lady was mute, because no matter how friendly my mother tried to be the lady never said a word to her. My mother didn't want a pretzel, but she felt sorry for the lady's affliction, so every time she walked past the lady she'd drop a nickel into her cup without taking a pretzel. Then one day, dropping her nickel into the cup without taking anything as usual, the pretzel lady finally spoke to my mother.

"They're 10 cents now," she said. 

   

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