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Nothing Friendlier Than A Wet Dog

  It's been raining all night and morning. The street in front of my house is a running creek, full of water. The backyard is a collection of miniature ponds, and everything in between those ponds is mud. The mud is six inches deep. Why my wife wants to go shopping in this kind of weather is beyond me. "This is the kind of weather to stay inside and read a good book," I tell her. "We're going shopping," she tells me. "I can make us both a nice cup of coffee..." I tell her. "We're going shopping," she tells me. "...and we can cuddle up under some blankets and fool around," I tell her. "We're going shopping," she tells me, and she even gives me the stink-eye for emphasis. Of course, she's just being facetious.  I think. I guess we're going shopping. It's not that I don't like going out in the rain and getting wet, it's that I don't like getting wet when I go out in the rain. My wife, on th...
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Funny Shades of Grey--chapter twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-One    It's morning and the light is everywhere.   I clamber out of bed feeling stiff, but, sadly, not a stiffy. My Unconscious looks at me disapprovingly. She has a black eye and a missing front tooth. Two bald spots where the hair had been torn out of her head. The black eye is on her left side. No, her right. Her left? Her right?   Let's see, which way am I facing?   My Inner Goodness glares at me in exasperation. It's her left, she corrects me, impatiently. Or is it her right? My Inner Goodness doesn't know which way she's facing either.   "Good morning, Miss Steele," a voice from the kitchen area calls out to me.   It's not Christian's voice, but, if it's not Christian's, then who?   It must be Christian's very attractive maid. I'm jealous at the very thought of her. I bet she even does windows. I wonder if she's the one he told me about who washes his balls at the golf course. I head to where sh...
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