Funny Shades of Grey--chapter eight
Chapter Eight Christian is pacing back and forth in panic. He runs a hand through his hair, then the other, and then his feet. He's looking more Brad Pittiful than Brad Pitt. I look up. Holy cow! It's already Chapter Eight and still no chitty chitty bang bang? The way it looks, I'm going to have to buy Christian's little soldier some ginkgo biloba, because it's forgotten how to stand at attention. When it comes to getting lucky with Mr. Rich Guy, it seems I'd have a better chance defeating Tywin Lannister for the control of Westeros. I'd go on, but, like an aging Ron Jeremy, I've only got one or two good metaphors in me and then I'm ready for a nap. I offer Christian my hand and help him up from the fetal position he's curled up in on the floor. "Why didn't you tell me you've never had sex?" he asks. "I did," I answer. "When was that?" "Back in Chapter Six, when you wer...