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Chomp, Chomp, Chomp!

My wife's a great cook.     In fact, she's such a great cook she can even make English food taste good, and any food you have to put vinegar on to improve the flavor of, well, let's just say you'd have to admit that it would be a challenge. She makes everything from scratch, and doesn’t mind spending hours in the kitchen preparing a delectable feast for those she loves.     I include myself in that group.     One time, my beloved mother, when she was still alive and my wife wasn't around, asked me who the better cook was.     I was diplomatic, but honest.     “Mom,” I told her, “when it comes to cooking Mexican food, you're the best, but my wife's the better cook when it comes to cooking different kinds of food.”     Since Mexican food is all my mother ever made, she was happy with my answer.     Recently, my wife made some delicious fried ...
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Funny Shades of Grey--chapter fifteen

  Chapter Fifteen    "Why, Mr. Grey," I say playfully, "what an unexpected surprise."   He stands just outside my door looking like a million bucks. An interesting choice of fabric.   "Please, call me Christian," he tells me, and confidently strides in uninvited.   He's wearing a baseball cap with an interesting logo stitched on the front. It's the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz leaving the little flirt from Kansas a message in the sky using the exhaust of her apparently fossil-fueled broom, but instead of Surrender Dorothy , she's sky-writing Surrender the Booty .   "I was just standing outside your door, thinking you might be in the mood for a booty call," Christian tells me with a dangerous look in his eye. The right one. No, the left. Oops, it was the right one after all. I know it's his right eye, because it's on the same side as my right eye. Or is that the left? Anyway...   "You bet I am, Christian,...
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