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Big Five! (part 3)

My father walks every day-- EVERY   day--rain or shine. Only today isn't rainy, it's sunny. Very sunny, as in  hot!  It's hot, and I've just made my father happy. I've bought him a new pair of walking shoes, and, let me tell you, they weren't cheap. The problem is this: my 93 year-old father's feet hurt him when he walks. They hurt him when he wakes up in the morning, and they hurt him when he lays his head down at night to go to sleep. They hurt him when he eats, and they hurt him when he's hogging the TV watching... well, you know what he likes to watch. They just plain hurt. But, the thing is, he doesn't blame his feet. He blames his shoes. I drive through a different town on occasion. A small town. And every time I do I see an old man jogging down the road. It never fails, he's always jogging. With a big smile on his face. I honk my horn, and he always gives me a big friendly wave as I drive by. One day, I decided to stop. I stopped. He stopp...

Funny Shades of Grey--chapter nineteen

Chapter Nineteen    "Wake up, sleepyhead," Christian nudges. "We have to leave in half an hour."   Wake up?   Already?   Ah, jeez. And I was having the nicest dream. I was dreaming that I was asleep, so I was getting twice the rest.   "Leave?" I ask Christian, my eyes boogery. "But I just got here."   "I know, but we're having dinner with my parents. Didn't I tell you?"   "Um... no."   "Well, we are. So get dressed and let's go."   I put on the same clothes I showed up in, because that's the classy thing to do. If there's one thing I've learned from Christian, it's class.   Hmm... now where are my edible panties? I seem to have misplaced them. I look over at Christian, and see him chewing on something. He looks up, seeing me seeing him.   "What?" he says.   "Um... nothing," I answer.   So I leave for Christian's parent's house sans banan...