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Driving Me Crazy (part one)

  Just recently, my Dad asked me if I would drive him out of town to visit an old military friend. I told him of course, but let me check with my wife first.  And so I did. "That's a good idea," is what she said.  I could use a break , is what she meant. What she didn't say was I once took a similar trip with my Dad a few years back, and I swore never again. It was more than a few years ago, and my Dad wanted to travel to another state far, far away. The interesting thing about my Dad was that later in his life he gave up driving... for the most part. As he got older it was my Mom who drove them around more and more, until she was the one who always drove... for the most part. I could understand that. I used to drive for a living, and, after being behind the wheel all day long, it was relaxing to sit in the passenger seat and let my wife deal with the usual gang of idiots on the road. My Dad would still get behind the wheel whenever he wanted to go someplace and my mo...

Funny Shades of Grey--chapter eight

Chapter Eight    Christian is pacing back and forth in panic.   He runs a hand through his hair, then the other, and then his feet. He's looking more Brad Pittiful than Brad Pitt.   I look up.   Holy cow! It's already Chapter Eight and still no chitty chitty bang bang? The way it looks, I'm going to have to buy Christian's little soldier some ginkgo biloba, because it's forgotten how to stand at attention. When it comes to getting lucky with Mr. Rich Guy, it seems I'd have a better chance defeating Tywin Lannister for the control of Westeros. I'd go on, but, like an aging Ron Jeremy, I've only got one or two good metaphors in me and then I'm ready for a nap.   I offer Christian my hand and help him up from the fetal position he's curled up in on the floor.   "Why didn't you tell me you've never had sex?" he asks.   "I did," I answer.   "When was that?"   "Back in Chapter Six, when you wer...