RaisingDad

 as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine RaisingDad by Jim and Henry Duchene Imagine That “good thing dogs aren’t particular” When I was a kid, I must have driven my parents crazy. When they took me to the store, I was always asking them for something. Spiderman comic books. The Man From UNCLE camera that turned into a gun.      And candy.      I was always asking for candy.      "You'll ruin your teeth!" my mother would warn me.      "If I can't have candy,” I thought to myself, “what's the point of having good teeth?"      This was before I discovered girls, and how they had the annoying habit of preferring guys with good dental hygiene.      I remember one Christmas, when I was about ten, I pestered my parents for a chemistry set that was probably more than they could afford.      “Aren’t you too old to be...

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine Growing up, my father was always on me for one thing or another.       When I was in high school, and prone to testing the limits of my curfew when I’d go out on a Friday or Saturday night , he would always make it a point to wake me early the next morning.      "Da- aaad ," I'd whine, covering my head with the blanket.      "Just get out of bed," he'd say.       I'm sure he was trying to teach me a lesson, but it was a lesson I didn't want to learn. It took awhile, but the lesson I eventually learned was, if I got up, he would go inside, and I could then lay on the floor out of sight on the other side of the bed, happily spending the rest of the morning in dreamland. Happily, that is, until he discovered what I was doing.      My snoring gave me away.      As a kid, I was forever forgettin...

  RaisingDad by Jim and Henry Duchene   The Simulatrix “where’s Neo When You Need Him?” Every morning when I wake up I have to blow my nose.      Maybe it’s my allergies. Maybe it’s my CPAP machine. Maybe, since my nose runs and my feet smell, I’m built backwards. Whatever it is, more often than not, when I toss the tissue into the small trash can my beautiful wife has thoughtfully provided, the tissue doesn’t make it in and I have to bend over, pick it up, and sadly come to terms with why I never played in the NBA.      I could understand this happening once in a while, but the MAJORITY of the time? What are the odds of that? I was an average basketball player in school, so I should be able to negotiate the three feet from my hand to the inside of the trash can, but something always happens. It bounces off the rim, it catches a nice breeze, it gets invaded by Putin.      That got me thinking, I must b...

 as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine RaisingDad by Jim and Henry Duchene   Babies Get All The Attention “I love kids. I used to be one myself.”   My granddaughter is about to become a big sister. The first six years of her life she yearned for a sibling to play with. Her seventh? Not so much.      “I thought you  wanted  a little brother or sister?” her mother, my middle daughter, asked when my granddaughter's response was less than enthusiastic.      “That was before I knew babies get all the attention,” she groused.      And that’s true. My youngest daughter always teases me about the day my granddaughter was born. Until then, she had been the baby of the family. We took her older sister to the hospital at FOUR in the morning. Two hours later, my youngest was  starving . Unfortunately for her, six was when her sister’s cesarian was scheduled, so breakfast could be a matter of m...

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine RaisingDad by Jim and Henry Duchene   Beautiful Nonsense     There are some classic movies I'll watch because I just don't like them.      Why do I torture myself this way? Because I'm trying to understand what it is I don’t get. 2001: A Space Odyssey is a good example. Whenever it comes on TCM, I'll  watch it.      "What are those monkeys doing?" my five-year-old granddaughter asked the last time I saw it, referring to the first part of the film which takes place at the dawn of man. My father, who was watching with me, looked to see what I was going to say.      "I... don't know," I admitted.      "They're ugly," she noted. A little later into the movie, she asked, “What’s that black thing?” Again, I… didn’t know.      I looked over to my father.      He was asleep. ...