RaisingDad

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine RaisingDad by Jim and Henry Duchene   Beautiful Nonsense     There are some classic movies I'll watch because I just don't like them.      Why do I torture myself this way? Because I'm trying to understand what it is I don’t get. 2001: A Space Odyssey is a good example. Whenever it comes on TCM, I'll  watch it.      "What are those monkeys doing?" my five-year-old granddaughter asked the last time I saw it, referring to the first part of the film which takes place at the dawn of man. My father, who was watching with me, looked to see what I was going to say.      "I... don't know," I admitted.      "They're ugly," she noted. A little later into the movie, she asked, “What’s that black thing?” Again, I… didn’t know.      I looked over to my father.      He was asleep. ...

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine Just before dawn the next morning, I was making my beautiful wife a cup of coffee. I had on my baseball cap with a light in front that I use for hiking. The shutters were closed. All the lights in the house were off. Only the small bulb on my cap was on. In my mind, the theme to Mission: Impossible was playing.      Yeah, I know I sound like a nut.      For no other reason than I had a feeling, I peeked outside and saw my father peeking back. He was looking out his front door, squinty eyes squinting.      His front door is actually a back door. He lives in a little in-law house just in front of our main house, so his front door actually faces backward to the french doors that lead into our kitchen. Sometimes he’ll sleep there, and sometimes he’ll sleep in a bedroom we have for him in the main house, depending on how annoyed he is at me, I guess. It's not as confusin...

  Our father must have been in the mood to set some family history straight.      We were talking about how President Trump heroically couldn’t serve in the military because of his patriotic bone spurs and how Clueless Joe weaseled out of going to Vietnam by receiving a Section 8.      “I know my brother wanted to join the Navy,” I told him, “but dropped out when he got a girl pregnant.”       “Is that what he told you?” he asked, then told me the real story: Seems you volunteered and were itching to go, but in the middle of your physical you were discharged when, standing in the middle of a room full of guys in their underwear, you popped a boner.      “Really, pop?” I asked, not believing it.      “As God is my witness,” he sadly confirmed.    RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com.  American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene

  as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine My wife lied to me.      “No, I didn’t,” she insisted.      But she did.       By omission, that is.      You see, every year we go to a Christmas Fair with my buddy Maloney and his wife, Gail. Local businesses set up booths there to sell their wares. This year, however, my beautiful wife “conveniently” forgot to tell me Maloney wasn’t coming. He played it smart and scheduled an appointment with an exterminator to fumigate his house. I’m not saying shopping with your wife is boring, but when a man would rather breathe poison, well, you tell me.      It cost five dollars to park in the underground garage, but a sign said no cash. Credit or debit only.       “What if you don’t have a credit or debit card?” I asked my wife. “By the time you see the sign, you’re stuck.”   ...

I once asked our father  if he really took you to all those places you say he did, and he said: “I took your brother everywhere ... but nobody would take him.”       RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com.  American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene     

  I once  asked our father if he really took you to all those places you say he did, and he said: “Yes… but he always found his way back home.”     RaisingDad RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com.  American Chimpanzee @JimDuchene